Saturday, January 23, 2010

Where to Start?

I sit around sometimes and I have all these Great things I would like to Blog about.... then my little scattered brain finds other things and I am off in another direction. Usually I find Face Book.... I like to read about other people from school... and friends at work, and my family scattered all over the United states. I love to look at family photos. I look forward to reading the blogs I follow on here too.

One thing I have a hard time with is when people tell me how beautiful Andrew is and why don't we have another baby? This is the one question that makes ME cringe. In reading a blog recently, it made me think of the thing that makes me cringe. I would have loved another baby... and a lot of times my heart aches for just one more. It's very hard for me to see so many of my friends having baby #2, or even number 1. Now, don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I don't want to come across as a jealous snot... it's just hard. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage. Sometimes when you have a family that comes with kids.... the other family is not as welcoming in more kids (this is what I have experienced). The ONE child I got, was my miracle baby. I never knew that until 2004 when I Had a surgery done to see why my female insides were not functioning properly... come to find out, I Had so much scar tissue from Endometriosis, one of my ovaries was pinned down and probably not functional. Getting pregnant with Andrew was a gift from God to me... he's my miracle baby. My husband always wanted to "wait until Megan was 18", then for us to have a baby. Just to let you all know, Megan will be 18 in June 2010. I had a hysterectomy in July 2005. Had I waited.... had Andrew waited... I would have no baby. God knew I needed to have Andrew when I did.... it was in his plans for me. I know every day I am blessed when I see my little boy. I think back to tims in the beginning, certain people said to my husband, "You don't need another kid... you got 2 already", and that hurt me... I had a precious baby growing inside of me, healthy and perfect. And now that he is here he's loved but always on the back burner in a lot of ways... I love him more than anything. Having a child is a whole new way of seeing love. I Never know I could love somebody so fast and so hard, as I did when I saw my baby boy looking up at me at 5 minutes old. I felt so blessed the first time I saw him on an ultrasound, I was 7 weeks pregnant barely... I saw his little heart fluttering away - The most amazing sight and sound, filled my heart with love. I was officially a MOMMY.

I am officially now a GRANDmommy. I know MIchael is my my biological son, but to me, Rylee is my Granddaughter, and Andrew, is "Uncle Andrew"... something he doesn't like... he said he's too small to be an uncle. Rylee adores him... and his every move. She will be a year in March, where does time go? My baby is 8. My husband and I will be married 10 years on February 26th, 2010. I know I am truly blessed. We have had a rough 2009 but I have a feeling 2010 will be GREAT....

Maybe I can eve get on here more. I know certain people on here do Inspire me. Thanks Ashly :)

More soon!  (P.S. Am I missing the spell check on here?  I can't find it anymore??  So please excuse any errors ; )

Rylee Alexa 10 Months

And our new Baby.... Spencer Hutchings

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