Harley's Handsome Boy

What better "therapy" could I ask for, than a "rescue", who came in the form of a horse, named HARLEY. My bird skittles died in our house fire. I miss her dearly. WE, well, I have her out back peacefully sleeping under the Pear Tree. Her little grave is marked by some wind chimes (which she loved to scream at) and a stone memorial, I purchased from a pet boutique. You may think she was "just a bird", but she was my Little buddy, and I loved her dearly.

Harley came from a home in Taylorsville GA. The man who had him, paid no mind to his horses. Harley sat in a pasture with little grass. He was under weight and very stubborn. Harley is considered a rescue, simply for the fact that he was about to be sent to an auction in Tennessee. People go to these auctions and buy horses for slaughter. Harley's hooves were long and cracking. He had a space on his neck that was bare and misshapen from leaning through a fence trying to eat grass on the other side. He was under weight, and he was "barn-sour", meaning he has not been ridden in a long time and acted like he has NEVER been ridden. He needed a lot of work. I knew if somebody attempted to ride him through an auction, he'd never make it, especially the way he looked and acted. I begged to take him....and won. Harley is now a healthy weight and his mane is growing back slowly. He has had his feet trimmed 2 times now and they look beautiful. I'm working on his "manners" under the saddle... and trying to get him back in shape. It's therapy for the both of us. He let's me love on him and I let him plow me down for treats, drench me with water after he takes a drink and drools all over, and when he opens my tack box looking for more treats..... spilling it all over. He tolerates the 400 million photos I take of him. He tolerates my hugging his neck. I in turn tolerate him doing his little bucking dances when I try to ride him. It's give and take equally.... well.... most times.  And now onto some pictures.....

Gotta know what's happening, it may involve a cookie!

Harley in the Summer....

During the Winter storm of 2011

I watched Harley transform from a summer horse to a big fuzzy woolly mammoth in winter.  He has the BEST winter coat.

Harley and his fuzzy winter coat

He also has the perfect "bulls eye" spot on his butt...

Harley is a good memory in a time that was full of bad memories.  He rescued me and Andrew, I think.......

TLH

Am I okay.... Really?

Many of my friends and family know, we had a house fire.  I have experienced so many emotions in the past few weeks, I am exhausted.  I cannot seem to get that day out of my head.  Coming through my kitchen to the sound of a fire alarm going off... and seeing smoke in the hallway - and thinking, "My baby is in his room...".  I ran to get him only to see my bed, with HUGE orange/red flames coming up from behind my headboard.  It's an image I can see as clear as day.  An image I cannot seem to erase from my mind.  The image of my bedroom in flames..... I try to remain positive about the "new home" we will move back into in a few months, but I cannot.  Yes, my home did not burn to the ground.... But maybe that would have been better.  Better to see rubble and ashes, instead of my once cute little cozy home.  My home that has been alive with my little family for the past 10 years, comfortable and clean.  Not the home I see now with boards on the windows.  The home that has the unforgettable smell of smoke, that you can smell from the road.  Some of the windows have blinds still hung.... many of my windows are bare, where my plantation blinds melted and fell off due to the intense heat that swam through every room in my home.  My bedroom suffered the most.  My walls, once smooth, are now bubbled and black, stripped of paint.  An eerie white pattern winds up my wall and across the ceiling where fire ate it away.  The rest of my bedroom is black. 

My Bedroom the day after....

The bathroom is black, toothbrushes melted down, lotion bottles bubbled and misshapen. 

Nothing was safe from smoke and soot.  Lamps stand in place like bare skeletons, or lay on the floor in pieces.  Pictures still where they were, black and burned.  There is a gaping hole in my ceiling, sheet rock and insulation hanging loose, and littering the floor. 

My bed is a skeleton.  It reminds me of a horror movie or a haunted house.  The mattress (what's left of it...) lays outside in the grass where firefighters tossed it.  The box spring is a mess of coiled loose springs... the metal frame, laying haphazardly within the bed frame.  The wood once a beautiful Deep Cherry, is now dull and damaged, BURNED.  It's eerily silent.  The ceiling is black everywhere.  The carpet is black.  There is smoke in my freezer... in my dryer - Smoke in all of my kitchen cabinets.  Smoke in my beautiful china hutch.  All of my beautiful wine glasses, family heirlooms and special things, all contaminated with that nasty black powder.  My clothes and and blankets, sheets and towels.... pillows... All smoke damaged.  The smell of a house fire is one a person will never forget.  It's not like smelling a bon-fire in the fall.... or leaves burning.  It's an awful smell.  As long as I live, I will NEVER forget that smell.  I am reassured constantly by all of the contractors working to fix my home, that we will have no trace of any smoke damage or smell when we move back in.  I am scared.  I am scared to go back to my home.  I know it will look totally different and have new paint, walls and flooring.  But that Tuesday, when I saw my room on FIRE... will always haunt me.  I can hear fire engine sirens and literally flash back to that day.  Certain smells send me into a panic mode.  I unplug things.... Look for fire alarms everywhere I go.  I am worse when I have to actually GO to the house.  I went the other day to water what is left of my house plants.... there was a huge dumpster in my driveway.  I knew eventually, all of the damaged things would be taken out.  I Never thought I would actually see it.  I stood in the middle of my driveway and saw what was left of the last 10 years of my life.  My husband's clothes all melted together, black and brown, BURNED.... laying in a pile.  My shoes, all melted together, thrown in the trash.  In the middle of all of it, 2 bears I got when I was in 5th grade.  Fine, undamaged.... laying amongst all the chaos.  I lost it.  Standing in the dumpster digging out my bears.... wondering what else is there?  Driving myself crazy.  Crying in a dumpster.... It is so hard to explain.  It is so hard to know that ALL we have, was sitting in a hotel room.  ALL we have, fit into the trunk of my car. 

I am thankful I have my FAMILY.  Possessions are nothing.... I have my FAMILY.  I saved my kitty.  It was so bad when I got him, I was unable to save my baby Skittles, my Sun Conure Parrot.  I am haunted by this.  I miss her terribly. I miss her more than anyone can imagine. 

~*~ Rest In Peace My Pretty Baby Skittles ~*~

I have pictures that are smoke damaged.  All I can do is keep them together in bags.  Some of our furniture (the wood) that was away from direct smoke, can be cleaned.  All of our food had to be thrown away.  Anything unsealed was dangerous to eat.  Most of our electronics have to be replaced.  Sure they work (some), but the soot is deep inside.... it corrodes the insides of electronics  and you can SMELL that day every time you turn anything on.

Making a list for your insurance claim is like taking your house, and trying to remember EVERYTHING you had..... after a tornado came through and blew all of it away.  It also makes me think MORE.... of the things that were lost.  Some things that cannot be replaced. 

I thank ALL of my friends and family who have been here for us.  We thank you for ALL of the gift cards, prayers and kind words.  We would have never been able to get through the past 2 weeks without you.  Time heals all wounds.  My faith in God is helping me heal too.......

Loving my little man......

I have not blogged in a LONG time..... I have wanted to and then another thought crossed my mind and *poof*, I was onto another project.  Anybody who knows me, knows this is how I am from day to day.  It's what make ME, ME..... Anyways.  My son Kevin Andrew, whom we formally call "Andrew", has been going through some "tough" times for the past few months.  I noticed LONG ago my baby got frustrated easily, was not fond of LARGE gatherings (unless it was family or friends he knew well).  Andrew has always excelled in school, from the moment he was in daycare and my friend taught him his shapes and colors.  What 2 year old knows the color "Khaki" or "violet".... and other colors that come off other colors?  He knew what a Hexagon was, an octagon, and would correct you if you called a rectangle a square.  I figured, WOW, he's smart!  He excelled in pre-k, Kindergarten was no different.  In 1st grade they recommended he be tested for the gifted program.  I was excited, but received a letter back that scored him high in all areas but "emotionally".  I blew it off.  Second grade came and he was in a class which placed him w/ kids that were higher up in scores.  He did well, I thought.  The CRCT testing came and he scored lower.... where he had been in the highest range before.  Again, I blew it off.  Summer came and the frustration came.  Storm have always upset my little man, but now he can get on a computer, or my iPhone and TRACK radar and the directions and intensity of storms.  He'd avoid going places or outside.  He avoided things he once loved like swimming or playing at the lake.  Crying and melt downs became a part of my every day existence and his, if the weather was bad.  I blew it off to anxiety.... but with past instances in the back of my mind, I wondered.  When he was 4, my father came down from Buffalo, NY for a weekend visit.  Andrew was playing a game on the computer about trains that my father had brought him.  He was into it, we decided to go to dinner out and announced it.  Andrew flew into a tirade.  Crying and screaming, kicking... he had strength no child should have at his size.  My father is a tall man... over 6 feet.  It was difficult for HIM to restrain Andrew.  We cancelled dinner and cooked at home - I calmed down my baby with soothing words and a book.  He was fine, acted like nothing happened.  Little did I know, this was the first instance, of many to come over the next 4 years.  I enrolled him in Clash Soccer.  He even had a few kids from his class on the team.  The first day he was hysterical.  The second time he was happy, learning and smiling.  When they started to play little mock games, he became agitated and upset if he missed a goal and another kid got it and scored.  After that he didn't want anything to do with it.  One night after I tried to force him to play, he started to kick and scream, even using curse words.  Embarrassed, I Packed my things and left, as parents watched me and thought my child was a "brat", and out of control.  On the way home, wearing his soccer cleats, Andrew repeatedly kicked my shoulder and arm... pulled my hair and screamed.  I just wanted to get home.  I was scared and frustrated.  A day later he acted like nothing had happened.  I took him to a psychologist, worrying he was bi-polar.  A psychiatrist said he was ok, nothing wrong and not bipolar.  I mentioned autism and got a negative to that too.  Things stayed ok for a while.  Recently, I noticed things getting worse.  Andrew hated his life, said I would be better off if he was gone.  Why did he have these things in his head?  Why doesn't anybody like me?  I always knew he had issues with making friends but I was shy when I was young.  I still felt like I needed to have him seen again.  I took him to another doctor this time, a doctor recommended to me by a close friend, whom I trusted.  I filled out a form that was miles long with questions about Andrew.  Dr. Atalla met with Andrew for 30 minutes.  When it was my turn to meet with him (alone, which I Liked, so we weren't talking about him in front of him), he smiled and started to laugh stating what a "Wonderful" child Andrew is, "So smart and inquisitive".  I felt stupid.... until he said my baby has a form of Autism, Aspergers"... in the Autism spectrum.  "High functioning" autism.  It's called "NLD", A Non-Verbal Learning disorder.  I was confused.  Non verbal?  Andrew has the speech of a 40 year old.  Words and sentences that an adult would state.  I was upset.... Nobody wants to have their baby to have something wrong with them.  I was so confused.  I saw him speaking to me but I was not hearing him.  I couldn't understand.  I wanted Andrew to be happy and healthy.  I wanted him to enjoy being a child.  I want him to grow up have his own family some day.  One thing I did do, was ask Dr. Atalla to write down what he was telling me.

At home, I was able to look up what "NLD" is.  Reading the description, was like reading a paragraph of my son's life thus far.

**Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), also called Nonverbal Learning Disability, is a developmental disability which all too often goes undiagnosed. Individuals with this potentially debilitating disorder generally suffer in silence. 
The term Nonverbal Learning Disorder/Disability is actually quite misleading.  highly verbal, with their areas of deficit being in the nonverbal domains.  
They are often bright, sometimes incredibly so. As young children they may actually be targeted as gifted, due to their mature vocabulary, rote memory skills, and apparent reading ability.  

However, parents likely realize early on that something is amiss. As preschoolers, these youngsters probably have difficulty interacting with other children, with acquiring self-help skills, are not physically adept, are not adaptable, and present with a host of other troublesome problems that are of concern, but not alarming.  
In all likelihood, the children bump along (figuratively and literally) through their early elementary years, handling the academic demands fairly well, except when their fine motor difficulties get in the way, or they fail to attend to a math symbol calling for addition or subtraction, or some other subtle symptom of their disorder derails them.   
    
As these children enter the upper elementary grades or begin middle school, they are left to handle more tasks on their own. Things rapidly begin to deteriorate. They get lost, forget to do homework, seem unprepared for class, have difficulty following directions, struggle with math, can't read their social studies textbook, can't write an essay, continually misunderstand both their teachers and their peers, and are often anxious in public and angry at home. They are accused of being lazy, rude, uncooperative, and worse. Nothing could be farther from the truth! They are hardworking, persistent, goal-oriented, and incredibly honest. They have NLD.**


I recently purchased a book online about NLD.  I have 2 so far and they both state kids go undiagnosed until the age of 8 or 9, because of the way this disorder progresses.  I currently have Andrew scheduled for more appointments.  I contacted his school so he could be placed in a class that can understand and help him better.  I have a tough decision regarding medicine.  Some days I am totally against it, but after this last week, I really have to decide what is best for my little man.  The first week of school was rough. I had a lot of anxiety and meltdowns to deal with in the morning and of course before bed time.  It's hard seeing your baby go through so much.  It kills me to see him ask me to "fix" him.  It's a work in progress.  I have a friend helping him through "Equine Therapy", often called "HIPPO Therapy".  The first time we went, I figured it was a no-go.  But I was shocked to see my little man hop right on the horse, no saddle either, BAREBACK (after my friend's daughter Sabrina did it.... he likes her a lot, she's 18 and the one that's helping us).  I almost cried.  And of course I have pictures.  Even got a small video (man I love my iPhone 4 - Thank you Apple!).  I still have much of my things from when I had my horses.  I knew I saved it for a good reason.  I Made Andrew a basket with all the brushes and combs to help groom "Sid".  I have halters and leads for him and 2 bridles.  I don't know who's more excited!  

I don't blog in months and when I do.... it's a novel.  This is info about my baby.  There's nothing "wrong" with him.  He's not damaged.  He is not "violent".  His little brain is simply wired differently.  Andrew is very loving and affectionate.  He's very sensitive.  Andrew loves hugs and kisses (especially giving them!).  Andrew loves to learn... He can tell you anything about the Titanic.  If you are planning a vacation, he'll tell you the weather for the next week (and be eerily right on 9 times out of 10).  Andrew loves technology - he can play a video game and beat it faster than some older kids.  He has a scalp sensitivity.... and a very sensitive sense of smell (something I noticed but never thought much of).  But all in all he's a typical 8 year old.  People hear Autism and Aspergers and think that the child is hopeless or violent.  Andrew has a chance at a happy and healthy life.  I am doing everything I can to make it that way.  He's going to grow up and be successful.  In fact...... I'm pretty certain he's going to replace Glenn Burns on Channel 2 News.  = )

Where to Start?

I sit around sometimes and I have all these Great things I would like to Blog about.... then my little scattered brain finds other things and I am off in another direction. Usually I find Face Book.... I like to read about other people from school... and friends at work, and my family scattered all over the United states. I love to look at family photos. I look forward to reading the blogs I follow on here too.



One thing I have a hard time with is when people tell me how beautiful Andrew is and why don't we have another baby? This is the one question that makes ME cringe. In reading a blog recently, it made me think of the thing that makes me cringe. I would have loved another baby... and a lot of times my heart aches for just one more. It's very hard for me to see so many of my friends having baby #2, or even number 1. Now, don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I don't want to come across as a jealous snot... it's just hard. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage. Sometimes when you have a family that comes with kids.... the other family is not as welcoming in more kids (this is what I have experienced). The ONE child I got, was my miracle baby. I never knew that until 2004 when I Had a surgery done to see why my female insides were not functioning properly... come to find out, I Had so much scar tissue from Endometriosis, one of my ovaries was pinned down and probably not functional. Getting pregnant with Andrew was a gift from God to me... he's my miracle baby. My husband always wanted to "wait until Megan was 18", then for us to have a baby. Just to let you all know, Megan will be 18 in June 2010. I had a hysterectomy in July 2005. Had I waited.... had Andrew waited... I would have no baby. God knew I needed to have Andrew when I did.... it was in his plans for me. I know every day I am blessed when I see my little boy. I think back to tims in the beginning, certain people said to my husband, "You don't need another kid... you got 2 already", and that hurt me... I had a precious baby growing inside of me, healthy and perfect. And now that he is here he's loved but always on the back burner in a lot of ways... I love him more than anything. Having a child is a whole new way of seeing love. I Never know I could love somebody so fast and so hard, as I did when I saw my baby boy looking up at me at 5 minutes old. I felt so blessed the first time I saw him on an ultrasound, I was 7 weeks pregnant barely... I saw his little heart fluttering away - The most amazing sight and sound, filled my heart with love. I was officially a MOMMY.

I am officially now a GRANDmommy. I know MIchael is my my biological son, but to me, Rylee is my Granddaughter, and Andrew, is "Uncle Andrew"... something he doesn't like... he said he's too small to be an uncle. Rylee adores him... and his every move. She will be a year in March, where does time go? My baby is 8. My husband and I will be married 10 years on February 26th, 2010. I know I am truly blessed. We have had a rough 2009 but I have a feeling 2010 will be GREAT....

Maybe I can eve get on here more. I know certain people on here do Inspire me. Thanks Ashly :)

More soon!  (P.S. Am I missing the spell check on here?  I can't find it anymore??  So please excuse any errors ; )



Rylee Alexa 10 Months

And our new Baby.... Spencer Hutchings

Christmas.....

Where do I start? Christmas time and the holidays in general, have always been a difficult time for me. Well, let me rephrase that... I think after I got older and stopped staying with my father for Christmas, I truly started to miss that BIG family gathering I got so used to. It was how predictable things were - The Buffalo Snow, seeing my friends again.... a warm toasty fire in the fire place... seeing the HUGE Christmas tree my dad got every year (sometimes so big he had to tie it to the stairs, and my aunts and uncles on my dad's side and of course my Grandpa O'Brien. My grandfather was a big tall man, and he had an "iron finger" he loved to tickle us with... but it hurt more than tickled. = ) I never told him. He passed away in November 2007 - and this year, as with every year, I pulled that ornament out of the box and hung it on my tree. A picture of me and him, the last time I saw him, on his 85th birthday. It's hard to look at for me and I usually start crying, the same way I do when I pull my dear friend Luann's ornament out. She died from lung cancer, I saw her last in march on my 30th birthday - she died almost 4 months later. I never really got to sat goodbye - I wish I could let that out of my mind, but it is hard for me.... I guess the same way I never got to say goodbye to my grandpa. Now my Grandma Lucy has the beginnings of Alzheimer's... They say dementia, but my mom and I agree it seems much worse. My grandma always cooked, now my Grandpa does. She lost interest. She forgets where the washing machine is, he has to watch her constantly. I miss the way my "grammy" used to be... I wish she was well again. It breaks my heart and it warms my heart to see all that my grandfather does for her. They have been together over 60 years, married. It's true love and commitment to see him take care of her - making sure she is safe every minute of the day.

This Christmas has been a little harder than most - my husband and I Have been through a lot this year, the past few months have been especially hard - my main goal is to make sure my little boy has a good Christmas morning.... seeing his little bright blue eyes shine when he wakes to see what Santa has left him, brings joy to my husband and I. We have tried to buy things along the way. This will be our first Christmas that we don't have presents for each other and it makes me sad. But then I remember it's my little man that we are concentrating on and I am thankful I have my family. And also thankful we have a new addition to our family too.... Baby Rylee.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009

Terry

Time.....

Did you ever notice how a certain smell or a song can trigger a memory from years ago? I was sitting at work today and a song came on the radio - it immediately brought me back to early winter of 2002 when my baby was still a baby. It brought me back to the cool temps outside, and what the trees and sky looked like. It made me remember how sweet and innocent my little man was sitting in his car seat in the back of my car. I see him now, just starting 2nd grade.... joining the Cub Scouts... and searching the "Ga Radar" daily to track the late summer storms of Georgia, or the hurricanes brewing off in the ocean. I take great pride in all of his accomplishments. I love the way he loves to learn. I love his sweet kisses and hugs he is always willing to give me. I love the way he says "Daddy"... Minus the "D" sound... so it sounds more like "da-ee".... He cracks me up when he tells you a story and says, "And you know what?" (10 times) until you say "What".... then he goes on. I wonder if 7+ years from now I will hear a song on the radio and remember these hot summer days and his little stories and "You know what?!".... and think back of how fast time goes by. Having a child really makes you stop and think of how fast time can go by and to take notes and remember small details. You cannot get those little details back.... so enjoy them while you can.... or wait until that special song comes on the radio, and you can smile and think, if only for a moment, back to that special day.

New Post... Old Post....

I had a post yesterday that I archived which was entitles "Making Macaronis and memories". I always type these blogs then decide to hold them.... Why I do that I have no idea. Anyway.... today a dear sweet neighbor of mine was literally "Kicked" out of her home. She's in her 70's and has been a part of my life since 2000. She always had me in for coffee and conversation. Her long time friend passed away nearly 3 years ago. Although they were never married they knew each other a lifetime. She took care of him faithfully as his health failed him. She thought, he was making sure she would be taken care of. He did a reverse mortgage.... and left her name OFF the home. Now Fanny Mae wants her home and her money. Juanette moved out today leaving her key in the door and her tears on the porch. They are coming tomorrow to "throw her out". But they have no idea she's already moved. It makes me so mad they won't help her. It broke my heart as she drove out of my driveway and told me she loved me. It took all I had not to drop and cry. Even though she is not far away and I can go see her - it's not the same as walking next door and seeing her in her kitchen. Juanette was like having my grandmother right next door. She loves plants and birds.... she loved gardens and the outdoors. I loved listening to her stories of her kids, her mom and her family. We looked at pictures, shared laughs and smiles.

I'm gonna miss my neighbor... Screw you Fanny Mae. Juanette's name is on half that trust and they can't sell it w/ out her signature. Let's see who gets the last laugh here.....

Over and out.....

Me

Gone but not forgotten

I am referring to myself and this blog. I visit here quite frequently... but I never seem to leave my own thoughts and reflections. I lay in bed at night and I think of all the things I want to put in here. Then I fall asleep.... Like tonight... total blank.

A few things:

1) Kali had her baby - Rylee Alexa, March 17th. I am in love. Just call me "Grams"

2) Okay maybe just ONE thing...... because I forget the other things....

Okay.... stay tuned... I promise things will be more entertaining in the future.

I'll leave you with a pic of Rylee...



It's hard to believe you can love somebody you only just met... Instantly.

Movie night with my "friends"....

Okay - so I am trying to think of where to begin with this blog tonight. I have so many things that happened within a time span of 1 hour and 37 minutes (give or take a few minutes for "interruptions"). To start with, my mom made her way up to my home in Cartersville tonight, for dinner and a movie. I got "Nights in Rhodanthe" from NetFlix, and seeing that her and I are both Richard Gere fans... we were both excited. From the beginning... I never got to watch the movie completely..... Andrew's "relax" radar went off and he popped on in the living room and into my lap. All 63 pounds of him. "Rub my back..... rub my belly.... NOT that way.... that tickles...", and so on. Then he proceeds to pick up to small WebKinz that I got for my birthday, from him, and places them on both my shoulders. "These are your friends mommy...". Okay.... if I can get peace... they can be my friends. My mom starts to laugh. I am sitting in this recliner, w/ a serious face TRYING to watch the movie, with 2 stuffed animals on my shoulders. Again... I just want peace. Okay so fast forward a few more minutes of constant interruption and I pause the movie and tell Andrew "Mommy and her friends want to watch this movie...". He rolls over, faces me and tells me with a straight face, "Mommy, your friends aren't real.... they're stuffed."

Crazy.... party of one...... Crazy

Okay.... so after Andrew is whisked away by my husband, my mom and I resume our movie. We got to watch a good bit alone. Towards the end, my husband joins us. Apparently, this was a good time to check his blood pressure, which is a constant source of worry.. for him. Did I mention how LOUD the Velcro is on the blood pressure cuff?

**ssssssssssssccccccccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp**.

This is the noise we hear during a pretty intense time in the movie. My mom and I look at each other.

This noise is followed by a.... "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr", the sound of the machine starting it's blood pressure checking. Mom and I glance at each other again, then at Doug. He's clueless....

5 minutes later..... the movie is getting more intense and SERIOUS.... I am actually tearing up.

**Sccccrrrriiippp* (adjustment of the blood pressure cuff)

**Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr**

This happens 1 more time.... followed by, "135..... I guess that's as LOW as it is going to GO...". *siiiiigh*

**STOP** Okay. Doug checks his blood pressure.... and when he checks it, he sits SUPER stiff and checks it over and over. The more he thinks about it, the higher it is going to go. I Know this.... but he thinks sitting there checking it, because he is SITTING.... it's gonna go lower. Did I mention he's been smoking all day.... had a few beers.... Oh and he's sitting there STIFF as a board? Well he is and he HAS.

**Sssssccccccrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp**

The movie is sad and I am crying....... very serious movie..... very emotional. Out of the blue, "It must be cold there, she's wearing a sweater and long pants".

I love my husband...... so..... random, and clueless. Mom and I are crying laughing at this point.

So in the span of an hour and 37 minutes.... my mom and I had the BEST night. She told me she was glad she stayed. Never a dull moment at my home... NEVER.

Did I mention the "Horse ball"? That's a story for another day.... one maybe my mom can tell.



My "Friends"

The TOOTH....

We all know me..... we all know how I am. I lose stuff constantly... I get agitated easily.... I am severely unorganized, but in some ways, severely organized. I feel sorry for plants in a department store left to die... I LOVE babies. I cannot accomplish ONE task at a time I start about 5 to 9 and do them all at once here and there. I hate cooking. I love my friends... These are some of the things that make me... ME. Which brings me to the story I am about to tell you..... One other thing is, I cannot stand to hear my son cry. My husband though.... loves to make him squeal. Andrew has a loose tooth. People who know me know that my son has what we call "The million dollar mouth". He's had fillings and crowns... he's never lost a tooth... we have had to have them all pulled, the new ones grow in and the old ones never get loose enough. He has a tooth now that is loose, on the bottom. He hates to have it touched or messed with. My husband believes all teeth should be wiggled and PULLED. I never let him do it. Last weekend he wrestled him down and tried to wiggle the tooth... it was a fight and afterwards Andrew comes into the kitchen where my mom and I are painting. My mom asks him what's wrong and he states, "Nanoo.... I just can't talk about it right now". So....Tonight, I left for some time AWAY, w/ a friend to Wal Mart (I know.... I know... Wal Mart??). Upon my return (which was no longer than 30 minutes), I was greeted at the door by my red-faced, watery eyed son. And the next thing I hear is, "Daddy made me fro-up, on the carpet mommy.... right there". Apparently, the tooth wiggling started the minute I left. Andrew got more than upset, started crying and coughing and, well... you know the rest. Needless to say, he was horrified. I can venture to say, I doubt I will be going anywhere alone for a while. I can also say Andrew thinks he can no longer eat Honey Nut Cheerios, thanks to the puke episode. Andrew already eats very little... I hate to think another item has been knocked off the menu. I was also notified that in case of another emergency, Andrew needs me on speed dial.

Max

Some people have dogs and some have cats - I have birds. I have 2 finches, and a Sun Conure Named Skittles. I had a Cockatiel named Max. Max was my baby. I purchased him when he was a baby. He was hand reared and loved me like I hatched him myself. He liked kisses on his little head, and a scratch whenever I passed him. If I wasn't near him when he felt the need to be loved, he'd call to me or fly to my shoulder. Max was never confined to his cage, he sat on top - he had the free run. He hated to be locked up. Maybe being locked up would have Max here with me tonight. When the men came from Rooms To Go to deliver our new mattress and Recliner, Max got scared and flew right out the door. I wasn't home.... but my hubby called me to let me know. I was a wreck. People may think it is silly - but he was my pet and I love him. It breaks my heart to know he is out there w/ out me. I do hold hope that he may return but I am still so sad. It is so cold outside and Max has never had a hard day in his life. I pray god will watch over my little love, and keep him safe and warm tonight and I hope he knows I love him. = (

Questions.......

I spend hours reading people's blogs. I think of it kinda like a book, in a way, like a little soap opera.

Does ANYBODY read mine?

Am I THAT boring?

Below is a picture of me and my baby Andrew, on his 7th Birthday. 12-13-08

The Christmas Cactus

I love the holidays. One of the many things the holidays bring, is my Christmas Cactus. One of the 2 that I have, was "rescued" from Home depot years ago after Christmas. Marked more than 50% off... it sat sadly amongst other various dying plants. If you read a previous blog, I am a sad soul when it comes to plants wilting.... lonely in a store. I plucked it out and added it to my collection. Once full of blooms it never bloomed again, until last year. 2 beautiful blooms, shortly after my Grandfather passed away. I felt those 2 blooms were for my grandfather and my dear friend Luann, who passed away from Lung Cancer. Now here it is 2008 and again, I have almost 2 full blooms and a few more sprouting. I also added another plant last year (off wal-mart's 50% plants)and it is happy as ever and in full bloom. I am adding photos of these beautiful miracles. God created such a beautiful plant... w/ amazing blooms. Enjoy.



My first Cactus.



My second Cactus. = )

Boring.....

First let me start out my blog by whining..... I see all these people with blogs that have a gazillion followers... then you have mine. Zero.... zilch... not one. Don't get me wrong... my mom reads it and she counts 100% (but I have it set up to email her when I post a new one so it's almost like cheating.)... but I guess I was hoping somebody else might like a small window view into my boring (somewhat humerous) life. I don't go on a lot of trips... and I don't belong to any clubs. I go to a small Methodist church down the road from me. I don't have college degree job.... I am simply me. I love helping other people. I Can walk though a store and see a wilting plant and genuinely feel "sorry" for it (like it has feelings). This kinda reminds me of my whole elementary, middle and high school career. I was the girl who was just "there". And now.... years later... here I am. I know I know, I am whining and having a small pity party for myself. Shame on me. Sometimes I wish my life was as simple and carefree as Andrew's. All he worries about it when he can play his games.... how many cookies he can have... and how long am I going to stay in Kohls and "torture" him. You know, stuff like that. Oh so innocent. As I sit here being pitiful. I am reminded how thankful I am for many things. And for the friends I know who are hurting and mourning right now, I say a prayer.

On a lighter note....Andrew brightens my day no matter what. He watched in horror as I sped past our exit to go home. He then realized that Kohls was in sight and proceeded to tell me how much he "HATES THIS PLACE". Upon entering the establishment, he asks me to get a stroller. Silly me for thinking he wanted to sit in the actual SEAT. No sir... I turned my back to find him in the portion of the cart where you can put all the goodies you plan to buy. Might I add he fit in there perfect. But then I look like a bafoon walking a stroller minus the kid. While looking at candles I thought he was going to give a poor woman a heart attack when his hand popped out of the buggy bag. Not many people expect an arm to come flying out of the back of a Kohl's stroller. where he then proceeds to tell the woman, "My mommy makes me sit back here". I was mortified..... She did laugh though and said, "I have grandchildren... I understand". Never a dull moment. Sometimes I think people get pleasure out of watching a woman trying to wrangle an antsy 6 year old. Especially when I entered the Bra and Panty section to which Andrew sighed heavily and stated... "Don't you have ENOUGH of these things mommy??". Now the boredom is at an all time high..... so, making small talk, he asked me if I needed new socks for my "date with daddy friday". If he only knew..... I need one of those spanx thingies... a Nice Bra, and maybe some cutsie christmas panties. I'll save that for another day, when I am ALONE. I can see him explaining to the cashier that all that stuff is for my date friday. All the while I am reminded of the stories my mom tells me of how I would vanish in department stores, only to be found moments later in the middle of a clothing rack swinging from the poles holding clothes. Paybacks baby.....

I was just informed that I never feed Andrew so I better go. Never mind that I stopped and got him a happy meal and his favorite sweet tea.

The accident.... and Andrew's concerns....

Today my mom was involved in a slight fender bender. An elderly woman slammed into the back of her as she headed to Wellstar to meet me for lunch. She called me upset... and I flew as fast as I could to mak sure she was okay. Shook up and soon to be very sore..... she is okay. Upon picking Andrew up from school, I mentioned the accident to him. The response? "Is she dead?". NO... I replied. So then we have to make the call, to make sure Nanoo is okay. From the back seat, this is what I hear:

"Hi Nanooooo... are you okay? But you are okay? What car hit you? What kind? White? Okay.... Lincoln? Okay..... So Nanoo, when I get home, I am gonna play my game and IT'S ON! " Concern noted.... game over. He did make her laugh though and that is what I wanted.

Our little man...

= )

Lights......

Don't you hate it when you are sitting on your couch.... gazing at your Christmas tree, and you think, "Something is off...". Sure enough I have a string of lights out. What the Heck? Well me and my OCD couldn't let it go. I go out in the cold
(32 degrees) to dig through 5 large plastic tubs, for extra lights. Lucky for me I hit the jackpot w/ the first one I dove into. It's fun tring to take a strand of lights off a tree w/ ornaments and beaded garland already hung.... and an extremely grumpy husband parked on the sofa. I managed to pull my sad little lights off my tree... and put the new ones back on. It make not be 100% perfect, but it looks beautiful to me. = )

My house may not be big. I may not have furniture and tables and picures that all match. But I am happy and that is all that counts.

Merry Christmas !

Death Is Nothing

The following is a poem read at Jackie's memorial last night. I thought it was beautiful and wanted to post it in memory of my dear friend Luann Rhodes, Jackie Adams and my Grandfather O'Brien.

****************************************************




Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other
That we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes
We enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me,
Let my name be ever the household word that
It always was.

Let it be spoken without effort,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am
Out of sight? I am but waiting for you
For an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner .
All is well.

Canon Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)

Just Call me Rachael Ray.......

Anybody who knows me.... knows I am no gourmet chef. I can cook, don't get me wrong, but I am not known for my fabulous pork loins, meatloaf, blue ribbon fried chicken or a famous dessert. I can bake cookies, and follow directions from a box. I can add water and milk as needed, and add a bag of noodles to finish the meal off. But when it comes to cooking from a cook book or just coming up w/ grande idea for a good meal, count me out. My mother can cook like a champ. God love her, she cam make a meal from anything and make it taste like it was cooked all day. I can't tell you how many times I have wrangled her up to my house on a week night for "dinner", knowing full well I have no clue what I am having. She comes in and grabs things and whips up a meal in 30 minutes. I know my husband loved those days... he always got something good and hot... full of flavor and not from a box. The one thing I can make well is stew. Throw it in a crock pot w/ some veggies and cook it all day. But I apparently did that TOO much because after a while, if I asked my mom to come up, and tell her I had a meal cooked... she'd say "We must be having beef stew huh?!". So.... needless to say, I have not cooked beef stew in a while. Well, tonight was no different. I come home, and I am tired. Doug likes cube steak so I figured I could make them. I went the extra mile tonight, I breaded them with flour and bread crumbs, and even used eggs to make it stick.... I was on a roll. Then I had this great idea to BAKE them ?? (here folks is where I went wrong).
I was multitasking you see.... I figured I'd bake the steaks and in the mean time, do christmas cards. The christmas cards are done... I go to check my fabulous meal and.... well.... they are cooking but... hello! Breading is just drying... flour and bread crumbs. All I can think is... why? Why did I do that?

Funny story..... Brings me back to when Doug and I were just married and I took shake and BAKE... and decided I could fry it up in a pan. I believe the response I got was, "what's this now?" I also baked him a birthday cake once and greased the sides of the pan w/ shortening... Waaaay too much. The cake tasted horrid and made Doug sick. Needless to say, I have yet to make another cake, I strictly make cup cakes only. Slap them in a little paper cup, no shortening or flour and bingo-bango... cup cakes.

Back to my gourmet meal of the evening. I called my mom and had her save the day (I also told her she could laugh at me too). She did manage to save my meal.... and made me laugh in the mean time. I have to laugh at me.... and you all can too.

Why do my mom's eggs always taste better? Her pancakes are always fluffier, and even her macaroni and cheese is better. Am I adopted? My aunt Cheryl can bake in her sleep.... she can cut hair, make a coffee cake and take a bath all at the same time. And everything comes out perfect (this on top of working full time too). My mom gets joy in baking cookies.... and sending them all over the US. She even made cookies for her mail-man. That's what I call devotion.

Maybe some day I can sit down and finally plan a great meal - until then... I'll stick to my boxed stuff and things I already KNOW I can make (safely). On a side note.... my dog Tobi greatly enjoyed my little cube steaks tonight. She got a taste and seemed pleased. = )

The Yak....

I love when Andrew started to learn to read. He's in one of the higher reading levels at school. I am nothing short of proud! He's learned to read things by sounding the words out, or he shoots right for the phonetic sounding of it.... Hence my story. Andrew comes bounding into my bedroom saturday night bubbling over w/ excitement. He plays his video games and occasionally let's me know what new level he has achieved. Tonight.... he found a big "Yak". In a game filled with cars and trucks, motorcycles and whatever else, I was surprised to hear of a Yak. But I went along with it. I asked him what color the "yak" was. "Brown mommy, with silver". Okay sounds good enough... So I ask some more... "Where is the Yak?", "On the Beach mommy! Where should it be?". He was getting mad now.... obviously agitated because I was interrupting his video game highlights. Now I am thinking and I ask him if he rode the yak. He said, "Mommy.... the Yak must not have a motor because I tried to drive the Yak and it just sat there...". I asked him to tell me how he knew, the YAK, was indeed a "Yak". "Mommy.... it's spelled right on the side." So he runs into his room and begins to read to me, the letters on the YAK.... "Mommy... are you listening? Y-A-C-H-T". YAK.... you see the "H" and the "T" appear to be silent.... I tried not to explode with laughter. It was too cute to me and so funny. AND.... being the 6 year old he is.... was adament it was still pronounced "Yak". Which reminds me of the time he was watching something and hears the word "Nipples", but is certain he heard "niffles". I'll have to watch out at Wal Mart to see if they sell baby bottle niffles. Kids are so funny and mine is no exception. He has a wonderful sense of humor and can be quite the smart ass like his mother. = )

If I ever win the lottery.... I am going to buy a Yacht and surely name it "The Yak".

Watson comes to visit us once again.....

I recently read a blog about a Christmas elf. We too have a Christmas elf, his name is Watson. Watson also brought his personal reindeer "Randy" with him. Watson comes once a year on Thanksgiving day to spread fun and mischief through out our home. I often find myself scrambling to place Watson in silly places when Andrew is not paying attention. I have to say I have been busy. I like the challenge... my husband thinks he's too old (Andrew is 6, soon to be 7). I like to take things day by day... when Andrew is too big, I'll stop. Right now, seeing his face light up when he notices Watson's absence... and his giggles looking for him, makes me glow inside. I treasure every day w/ him and hold tight to little memories. Andrew is my only child, and my last child (I am unable to have more), so every little moment is one that I cherish. I have to thank a former boss of mine, Terri E., for the elf idea. It has been such a joy to me and Andrew both.... and I have to admit, my husband every so often... does crack up watching me run all over trying to find new and wondrous places to put him. So, let me introduce you to Watson and Randy. = )





I am thankful for him and every moment that I have with him. I am thankful for my family and our home.